This is a two part exersise: first combine the following sentences (you may want to review the worksheet that defines and explains participal/appositive/absolute structures); then write an imitation of the sentence you produce using your own content but keeping the structure the same. This is not designed to be practice making compound sentences (two complete sentences joined by a conjuction), it is an opportunity to rework language-- playing with it like a jig-saw puzzle.
- He paused. He was puffing noisily.
2. Craig was calm now. He was at peace.
Now combine the following sentences into one by putting the underlined parts into the first sentence. Decide where the parts fit most smoothly into the first sentence. Add commas to punctuate the parts you insert into the first sentence. Finally, write an imitation of the sentence you produce, using your own content but the structure of that sentence.
3. Aunt Dorothy was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter. Aunt Dorothy was tall and bony. Her daughter was Diane. (Robert Lipsyte, The Contender)
4. There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head. It was in the dining hall. It was over the stone fireplace that was never used. The moose head was something which looked somehow carnivorous. (Margaret Atwood, Wilderness Tips)
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman lived there. He lived there alone. He was someone who had known her grandfather. He was someone who had visited the Parrs in London
6. The lawyer lay on an old Army cot. The cot was in the closed anteroom. It was one he kept there for naps. There was a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies. (Frank Bonham, Chief)
1. He paused-- He was puffing noisily.
ReplyDelete2. Craig was calm now; He was at peace.
3. Aunt Dorothy-- tall and bony-- was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter, Diane.
4. There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head in the dining hall: It was over the stone fireplace that was never used, The moose head was something which looked somehow carnivorous.
5. Perhaps a lonely elderly gentleman lived there; He was someone who had known her grandfather-- He visited the Parrs in London.
6.In the cold anteroom, the layer lay on the army cot; there was a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected by flies.
1. Puffing Noisily, he paused.
ReplyDeleteMy Own: Snoring heavily, she slept throughout the night.
2.Craig-calm now-was at peace.
My Own: Matthew-happy as can be-was in English 1010.
3. Aunt Dorothy, tall and bony, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter Dorothy.
My Own: Mr. Whitington, awesome and funny, was teaching his best student, Matthew.
4.Over the stone fireplace that was never used in the dining hall, there was a huge moulting stuffed moose head, which looked somehow carnivorous.
My Own: On the dusty shelf in the attic, sat an ancient sword,calling to the ninja.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman, who had known her grandfather and visited the Parrs in London, lived there alone.
My Own: The mother bird, who had lived in the tree for a year and left to get food, returned to a destroyed nest.
6. The lawyer, a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies, lay on an old Army cot, he kept there for naps, in the closed anteroom.
My Own: The child, pure bliss on his face as if he were in paradise, slid down the slide, his favorite place, in the neighborhood park.
1. He paused, puffing noisily.
ReplyDelete2. Craig was calm now,at peace- I don' know how to structure this.
3. Aunt Dorothy--tall and bony-- was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter Diane.
4. There was a moose head-- huge, moulting stuffed, carnivorous--in the dining hall over the stone fireplace which was never used.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman lived there alone who had known her grandfather-- and had visited the Parrs in London.
6. The lawyer lay on an old, closed anteroom Army cot-- used for naps; the newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse.
1. Puffing noisily, he paused.
ReplyDelete2. He was at peace, finally calm.
3. Aunt Dorothy, tall and bony, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter, Diane.
Tall and bony. Mother of Diane waits at the door.
4. There was a huge moulting moose head looking carnivorous, it hangs over the stone fireplace in the dining hall that was never used.
Looking carnivorous, hanging over the unused fireplace in the dining hall, the moulting moose head hung there.
5. Perhaps the elderly gentleman lived there alone, he was someone who had known her grandfather and visited the Parrs in London.
The type of man who visited the Parrs in London and known her grandfather, the elderly gentleman lived there alone.
6. The lawyer lay on an old Army cot kept in the closed anteroom for naps, he had a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.
Laying on the cot kept in the closed anteroom for naps, the lawyer had a newspaper over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.
1. He paused: He was puffing noisily.
ReplyDelete2. Craig was clam now- he was at peace.
3. Aunt was tall and bony; she was waiting for her daughter Diane at the front door.
4. The huge, molting stuffed moose head was over the stone fireplace-never touched in the dining hall- which looked somehow carnivorous.
5. There was a elderly gentle man that lived alone: he was someone who had known her grandfather and someone who had visited the Paris in London.
6. A lawyer kept a old Army cot for naps in the closed anteroom: he found a newspaper folded over his gave as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.
1. He paused, puffing noisily.
ReplyDelete2.Craig was calm, and he was at peace.
3. Aunt Dorothy, a tall and bony woman, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter Diane. (Robert Lipsyte, The Contender
4. There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head in the dining hall, over the stone fireplace that was never used. The head was something which looked somehow carnivorous. (Margaret Atwood, Wilderness Tips)
5. An elderly gentleman lived there; but he lived there alone. He had known her grandfather— the girl that lived on the third floor— but he didn’t speak much. The gentleman knew someone who had visited the Parrs in London. (Joyce Carol Oates, The Doll)
6. The lawyer lay on an old Army cot. The cot was in the closed anteroom which he kept there for naps. There was a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies. (Frank Bonham, Chief)
1.He paused-- puffing noisily.
ReplyDeleteImitation: Puffing noisily, he paused.
2.Craig was calm, at peace.
Imitation: He was at peace--Craig.
3. Aunt Dorothy, tall and bony, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter--Diane. (Robert Lipsyte, The Contender)
Imitation: Diane was waiting with her Aunt Dorothy who was tall and bony.
4. There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head in the dining hall: over the stone fireplace that was never used; which looked somehow carnivorous. (Margaret Atwood, Wilderness Tips)
Imitation: The moose head –which hung over the old fireplace in the dining hall—looked somewhat carnivorous.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman lived there alone as someone who had known her grandfather or someone who had visited the Parrs in London. (Joyce Carol Oates, The Doll)
Imitation: Living there alone an elderly man had once visited the Parrs in London and had known her grandfather.
6. The lawyer lay on an old Army cot closed in the anteroom, kept there for naps, and a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies. (Frank Bonham, Chief)
Imitation: The lawyer lay on his cot with a newspaper folded over his face while he took a nap.
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ReplyDelete1.He paused, yet was puffing noisily.
ReplyDelete2.Craig was calm now, and at peace.
3.Aunt Dorothy –tall and bony – was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter, Diane. (Robert Lipsyte, The Contender)
4.In the dining hall over the stone fireplace that was never used There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head; which looked somehow carnivorous. (Margaret Atwood, Wilderness Tips)
5.He lived there alone, someone who had known her grandfather, someone who had visited the Parrs in London. (Joyce Carol Oates, The Doll)
6.The lawyer lay on an old Army cot in the closed anteroom he kept there for naps; a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.(Frank Bonham, Chief)
Those drivers that switch lanes without signaling are dangerous and need to be addressed, such punishments could be taking stars off their license or cleaning highways, when you are driving with kids in the car the last thing you want to do is stop abruptly.
1.Puffing noisily, He paused.
ReplyDelete2. Craig-calm now-was at peace.
Now combine the following sentences into one by putting the underlined parts into the first sentence. Decide where the parts fit most smoothly into the first sentence. Add commas to punctuate the parts you insert into the first sentence. Finally, write an imitation of the sentence you produce, using your own content but the structure of that sentence.
3. Aunt Dorothy-tall and bony- was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter, Diane.
4. In the dining hall, over the stone fireplace that was never used, There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head, which looked somehow carnivorous.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman, who had known her grandfather and visited the Parrs in London, lived there alone.
6. The lawyer, newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies. In the closed anteroom, kept there for naps.
1. He paused. He was puffing noisily.
ReplyDeleteHe paused; he was puffing noisily.
2. Craig was calm now. He was at peace.
Craig was calm-- he was at peace now.
3. Aunt Dorothy was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter. Aunt Dorothy was tall and bony. Her daughter was Diane. (Robert Lipsyte, The Contender)
Aunt Dorthy, a tall and bony lady was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter Diane.
4. There was a huge moulting stuffed moose head. It was in the dining hall. It was over the stone fireplace that was never used. The moose head was something which looked somehow carnivorous. (Margaret Atwood, Wilderness Tips)
In the dining hall, there was a huge moulting stuffed moose head over a stone fireplace that was never used.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman lived there. He lived there alone. He was someone who had known her grandfather. He was someone who had visited the Parrs in London.(Joyce Carol Oates, The Doll)
Perhaps an elderly gentleman lived there: someone who lived alone, had a grandfather, and visited Parrs in London.
6. The lawyer lay on an old Army cot. The cot was in the closed anteroom. It was one he kept there for naps. There was a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.(Frank Bonham, Chief)
The lawyer was laying on a cot kept there for naps in the anteroom--- a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.
ReplyDelete1. He paused, puffing noisily.
2. Craig was calm now- he was at peace.
Now combine the following sentences into one by putting the underlined parts into the first sentence. Decide where the parts fit most smoothly into the first sentence. Add commas to punctuate the parts you insert into the first sentence. Finally, write an imitation of the sentence you produce, using your own content but the structure of that sentence.
3. Aunt Dorothy, tall and bony, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter, Diane.
4. There was a huge moulting, carnivorous, stuffed moose head in the dining hall. It was over the stone fireplace that was never used.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman lived there alone and had known her grandfather at the Parrs in London. (Joyce Carol Oates, The Doll)
6. The lawyer lay on an old Army cot, a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies. The cot was in the closed anteroom for naps.
My own: Dizzy and clutching the wall, she reached toward the phone sitting on the counter- a device already disconnected by clipped wires and broken buttons.
1. Puffing Noisily, he paused.
ReplyDeleteMy Own: Screaming loud, I cried.
2.Craig-calm, now was at peace.
My Own: Karla-mad, was in her room
3. Aunt Dorothy, tall and skinny, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter Dorothy.
My Own: Mrs. Molly, pretty and young, was handing out cupcakes.
4.Over the stone fireplace that was never used in the dining hall, there was a huge moulting stuffed moose head, which looked somehow carnivorous.
5. Perhaps an elderly gentleman, who had known her grandfather and visited the Parrs in London, lived there alone.
My Own: I had seen many days, maybe 3-4, in my life.
6. The lawyer, a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies, lay on an old Army cot, he kept there for naps, in the closed anteroom.
He paused—puffing noisily—with wide eyes and gaping mouth.
ReplyDeleteCraig was calm now—breathing in a rhythm—he was at peace.
Aunt Dorothy, tall and bony, was waiting at the front door with her daughter Diane.
In the dining hall, over the stone fireplace that was never used, there was a huge mounting stuffed moose head which looked somehow carnivorous.
An elderly gentleman, living alone, had visited the Parrs in London.
In the close anteroom, where he kept there for naps, a newspaper folded over his face as though he were a corpse being protected from flies.
1. Puffing noisily, he paused.
ReplyDeleteMine: Jumping happily, she screamed.
2. Craig was calm now; he was at peace.
Mine: Samantha was tired; she fell asleep.
3. Aunt Dorothy, tall and bony, was waiting at the front door with her own small daughter, named Diane.
Mine: Martha, skinny and short, ate like a pig with he best friend, named Miley.
4. In the dinning hall was a huge moulting stuffed moose head, which looked somehow carnivorous, and a never used fireplace.
Mine: The bag, that was purple, was held above the table.
5.Perhaps an elderly gentleman, who had known her grandfather and visited the Parrs in London, lived there alone.