What was the main claim of the student proposal?
Could you suggest clarifying/streamlining her supporting details?
Is there an outside source (logical appeal) that you could suggest?
What emotion did the author try to evoke? Was is persuasive? Could you make a suggestion to strengthen the pathos?
What was the author's ethos based upon? Was this an effective appeal?
How would you judge the overall persuasiveness of the entire argument?
Was there a main weakness you could point at?
The main claim of the student's essay was that he wanted United Airlines to put better sanitation methods in place. I would suggest more ways in which the author wants the airplanes to be cleaned instead of just saying the other airlines do this or this should be done. I would suggest bringing in a logical appeal from a well known source like the who's "Guide to Hygiene and Sanitation in Aviation". The author tried to use a personal story in which he sat in front of fecal matter. It made the reader feel repulsed. It did its job but it lacked the reaction one would expect from the experience. I would emphasize it more. Again the author's encounter with the issue show'd that it was someone who had some power being a customer of United Airlines and able to hit them hard financially with his experience. Overall, his proposal was acceptable but could be improved largely because it felt emotionally weak which is the main emotion I felt the author was trying to push.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the student proposal was that United Airline should invest in cleaner planes.
ReplyDeleteShe used an anecdote that was bias. She did not emphasis the need of other passengers. She should clarify how the airlines would benefit in terms of passenger support.
The author tried to evoke unpleasant, anger emotions. It was persuasive because it made the reader aware of the unhygienic airline usage. The ethos that she developed was facts, and airline background. It was effective because it felt like she had knowledge to support her claim. The argument was overall highly persuasive. The only weakness was how bias and "attacking" it seemed.
The main claim is that the airline should make sure that the airline is sanitary cause it could cause health issues.
ReplyDeleteHer details were clarifying because she gave her audience a logical way to solve the problem .
There is an outside source which gives a logical point of how the United Airlines is not a clean environment.
She used pathos in the beginning of the essay by stating what they do are suppose to be doing but are actually not. It was persuasive.
Her ethos was based that she herself was a passenger.
I thought it was a good persuasive essay. I couldn't really find a weakness in her writing.
Student's claim was to make airplane cabinets more cleaner and sanitary. Her evidences and appeals were clear and she laid out her argument in a constant manner. She could have said that it is logical to keep the plane clean because people get sick and they don't have insurance or money to go see a doctor. Because of lack of concern, a person might be fatally sick. Her pathos were strong because she included the effects of unsanitary planes and how it affects peoples everyday health. She witnessed the lack of cleanliness around the planes and she connect her own experience to the impact it is leaving on others. This help her ethos and made her argument stronger. I think her persuasiveness was strong; she researched and notified people's experiences with United Airline. Her overall argument was effective and conveyed that she cares about planes being clean because it affects a large population.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the student's essay was that United Airlines needed to improve their sanitation. I think that the author could include statistics on other airlines and how their sanitation leads to more customers. The author could also talk about diseases and how United Airlines is becoming a health hazard. An outside source could be a pilot and his words on the cleaning situation. This would help the authors ethos as well. The author tried to appeal to guilt, anger, jealous, and disgust. Anger and jealousy are emotions towards the other airlines. Guild and disgust are what the airlines feel towards the customers and their own sanitary conditions. This was persuasive, it told of how the author was humiliated and disgusted. Suggestions could be asking them about their own family and how they would feel if that happened to them. The author's ethos was based off of personal experience. This was a strong appeal but wasn't strong enough. The overall persuasiveness was strong and a success. There was great use of pathos and some Logos. The ethos wasn't necessarily weak but could be strengthened. The main weakness that could be pointed out was not using enough evidence.
ReplyDeletethe main claim was that he wanted to change how clean a airline should be. He should go more in detail about the article and why it is important. I fell like this student put the quote in without explaining it. Another small logical appeal is the amount of people coming and going on planes is scary because it could bring disease and you could die because of how unclean a plane is. I think the strong piece was the pathos because it made me rethink what Airlines should do for the safety of their people. I think this was a overall A essay. They got right to the point and stated what needed to be said in a appropriate way.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the student proposal was that United Airlines needs to clean their "grotesque" planes.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest not going too far off when explaining the grocery store situation, or at least put it in a more appropriate place
I would suggest to use the author's words against the CEO. Remind the CEO of his promise and explain why he failed to keep it.
The author tried to promote the feelings of fear throughout the essay. One specific example of this was saying that the customers were using their hard earned money for the trip and that if they didn't fix it then other airlines would take away the business. I reccomend building on the claim that if they don't fx it then their clientele will drastically shrink.
The author used the ethos of being a customer of theirs and voicing personal concern. I believe this was effective because it's not like he has never used UA, (s)he clearly has and voices her own personal experience.
I definitely see the argument as effective regarding persuasion. There was decent backing in all 3 categories.
The weak point I reccomend fixing is expanding on the idea for more than what seemed like a sentence about the customer going away.
The claim of the student proposal is that United Airlines should invest more time and money into being more clean and sanitary on their planes. I suggest that her supporting details be less wordy and less use of examples and more us of facts and statistics. I suggest using some type of source that can help to clarify how clean the plane needs to be or suggestions on how to keep the plane clean and sanitary. The author tried to evoke the emotions of anger or disgust because she talked about the fecal matter in front of her and other types of situation where there were some types of gross matter in front of them. It was effective because it made the reader aware of the unsanitary or uncleanliness on these United Airline flights. The authors ethos was that she was a passenger on this airlines flight and that she experienced one of the unsanitary situations. This was effective because it made the situation more real in the fact that the reader knew that there was this real life situation that happened to an ordinary person. The overall persuasiveness was effective and well written in that fact that the authors pathos and use of examples helped to convince the reader of any sort. The only weak point would be that it seemed quite bias and in order to be able to change the situation, you have to explain the counter argument with a solution to it.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the authors proposal letter is that he wanted United Airlines to consider their Sanitation methods and dramatically improve them. In my opinion, for a outside logical source, they should just consider using common sense and using their outside sources such as guides on how to keep consistent cleanliness. The author spoke about what he went through on that airline. He tried to make an image for his audience of what he went through in order for them to understand that what had happened is unacceptable and something they shouldn't have to go through themselves. However, the author wasn't to persuasive and lacked effort in creating emotion.
ReplyDeleteThe claim of the student proposal was that the United Airlines Company needed to maintain cleanliness of its planes. She used personal experience as a supporting detail such as when she discovered fecal matter on one of the tray desks and written evidence of an article that detailed the dirtiness everyday passengers have experienced on the planes. The outside source used highlighted that unsanitary conditions were not a one time occurrence but rather something witnessed by a majority of the boarding passengers. The author tried to evoke emotions of guilt in the audience by saying that as a trusted commercial airliner, it must be held to utmost standards and cleanliness. The ethos used was effective because the author has personally experienced and been a United Airlines customer for years. The letter was persuasive in it's detailing and encouragement of maintaining cleanliness of planes; the solution proposed is achievable and realistic which gives it better effectiveness.
ReplyDeleteThe claim of the student proposal was that the United Airlines Company must make cleanliness of the planes first priority. The ethos that the student brought was from personal experience of flying on their planes followed with strong logos of the scientific research that was preformed. The pathos as not only her experience but was also drawn from others experience. Her overall argument was fairly persuasive but could of presented more scientific backing to improve the logos
ReplyDeleteThe main claim was that he want the United Airline to clean before next Flight. Stopping airborne disease by providing mask and tissue. Providing small trash bag to passengers, and providing a bandage. Yes Grocery market Example is an outside source. Author evoke that passenger are grossed out. Ethos was base upon her experiencing grossed out when she found trash on backed seat. I believe the persuasive of the argument is very realistic and strong.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the student proposal was that United airlines should clean and sanitize their planes. The author could've provided more details on stats from other airlines to prove competition information among airlines. The author does a provide an outside source that proves her main claim. The emotions that the author tried to evoke was shame, angry, disgust, and sad. The emotions that the author evoked was persuasive because it provided emotions from both the target audience and broad audience. The authors ethos was based upon personal experience. It could've been a stronger appeal. Overall it was persuasive. A main weakness was that the ethos wasn't developed enough.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the student proposal is that United Airlines should improve and maintain the sanitary conditions of their planes. For the supporting details, the student incorporated personal experiences such as finding smeared feces on her tray table. Mr. Munoz's motivation is money and in order to be the top airliner in business, he has to appeal to the customers. Being concerned for the customers of United Airlines and showing that she cares for Mr. Munoz's business, this is the main factor for increasing her ethos. In the same context, bringing outside sources makes the letter more persuasive since there are two perspectives rather than personal. Overall, the student's proposal is achievable, appealing to Mr. Munoz's motivation.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim of the student proposal was that United Airlines should clean their planes to prevent the risk of spreading disease to passengers and the attendants. Some of the details that were added in there about the specifics of the human feces found on the tray table and the unsanitary conditions of the bathrooms, etc. were added in there to evoke emotions such as disgust. Seeing as though the student was a passenger on the airline and experienced the conditions strengthens their ethos which helped their argument.
ReplyDeleteThe main claim is the sanitary conditions of the planes. They could have added the detail of the smell of the plane to help their argument. I would include outside info about an inspection of planes. It evoked an emotion of guilt almost but to fix up the cabins and clean them. For the authors ethos he is taking the stance as a user of the airline so that should help his credibility. It is weak when it says that this claim is effective like he already won the audience over.
ReplyDelete